


When We Were Young

by dustyr0se



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, Harry Styles Fanfiction, Harry Styles Imagines, Harry Styles One Shots, Love Story, Romance, when we were young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5812228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustyr0se/pseuds/dustyr0se
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry sighed unhappily. “Do you really want me to leave?”</p><p>No. “Yes.” I cleared my throat. “I do.”</p><p>Harry stood silent, folding his lips into his mouth and cracking his knuckles at his sides. He sighed and I noticed him backing away from me. “I never meant to upset you.” Of course he could tell how I was feeling; he always could.</p><p>I shuttered as I watched him leave the restaurant, but once he was gone, I felt a weight of relief on my chest, my heart especially. Regardless of this happy time, seeing Harry had made me think about so many more things. Those many things I had suppressed over the past five years because they reminded me of Harry.</p><p>~</p><p>Harry is, or was, your best friend and his return into your life was anything but a coincidence.</p><p>Inspired by When We Were Young by Adele</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

“So, before I say too much and risk giving away my best man speech a tad early,” Daniel’s best man joked, “here’s a toast to the happy couple!” Tony held up his glass, smiling at the two of us. “I’m sure we’re all excited for tomorrow, but not nearly as much as you two.” He finished his make-shift speech, making everyone in the wedding party cackle as they clinked their glasses with their neighbors. I stared at my fiancé, smiling ear to ear as he downed a large sip of his wine.

Dinner had been served and we were all more then willing to have the make-shift speeches come to a close. The walk through at the church had gone far over the suggested time length, leaving all of us eager to get to the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner.

Throughout the day, I had heard an abundance of “I can’t believe the wedding is actually tomorrow.” It was like a broken record on repeat since the minute I woke up. All of it was very overwhelming, but that sort of feeling comes with the territory.

Daniel’s hand reached over to my thigh and I felt his thumb rub my skin in a consoling motion. The man I had known for four years was about to become my husband. Husband, what an exciting word. “You feeling alright?” He asked in a soft tone, tilting his head to me.

I smiled at my fiancé, bringing my hand to the side of his face. “Of course.” I reassured him, my eyes in a trance of his beauty. His nose was narrow and his eyes were so brown they almost looked black – an enticing shade that could paralyze me if I stared too long. My hand fell from his cheek to his hand on my thigh. “I think the wine is just getting to me.” I told him, shooting a quick grin in his direction.

“Oh,” He pursed his lips playfully, the way I always loved, “lets get you some food then.” He laughed the most adorable laugh, sliding his hand from my grip. “I can’t have my bride hung-over on our wedding day.”

Chuckling, I shook my head. “I would never!” Our laughing joined amongst the mix of banter in the room as everyone was beginning to dig in to their plates.

I tried to eat, but the nerves were getting the best of me. All I kept thinking about was something going wrong. I had been looking forward to this day since Daniel slid the ring on my finger a year ago. Although this was an exciting time, the dreadful thoughts were still rummaging through my brain. One the outside, I was smiling and laughing, but on the inside, something just wasn’t sitting right with me.

After dinner, everyone was up and mingling. Daniel’s nieces and nephew were running through the chairs with his sister chasing after them. As they rounded the corner, I took a step over, blocking and startling the three little ones to a halt.

“What are you three up to?” I crouched down to their level, smirking at their sudden shyness. The oldest was Steven, who was rather tall for his status of an eight-year-old. The twins followed, Mallory and Hillary, who just celebrated their fifth birthday.

“They were chasing me!” Steven pouted. It was a typical sibling fight – the oldest throwing the younger ones under the bus the first chance they got – and would carry out until someone was crying.

Hillary groaned. “Because he was picking at our dresses!” Mallory was nodding beside her as Steven turned toward them, opening his mouth ready for an argument.

I smiled at them. “If you guys aren’t good I might not be able to let you walk in the wedding tomorrow.” My smile turned to a frown, hoping it would convince them. Since I didn’t have any relatives under the age of thirteen, Daniel and I decided to have the twins be the flower girls and Steven be the ring bearer for the wedding. The girls were excited to wear the dresses and sprinkle the flowers down the aisle, they cheered when we told them. Steven was also excited, even though he often pretended otherwise. I would catch him smiling here and there, especially when he tried on his tux for the first time.

A hand rested on my shoulder and I rose to see Daniel smiling at me. His eyes flickered down to the kids. “She’s right kiddos. I might have to kick you out.” His gaze turned serious. He slid his arm down my back, resting his hand on my waist comfortably.

The children pouted up at him. The twins exchanged a glance of shock and worry while Steven crossed his arms over his chest with a huff.

Tiffany, Daniel’s sister, came up behind them, a little out of breath. “That’s enough for the night you three.” She scolded them and I leant into Daniel. A smile spread across my face with the bright thought of our future family. The ideas danced around in my head. Our own little family. The start of it all would officially begin tomorrow. I gave Tiffany a look of sympathy as her eyes said sorry. She then peered down at the kids, shaking her head at them. “Go sit with your father now. And stay there until I’m done talking to your uncle.” The three of them simultaneously huffed and trudged off to pout with their dad. “They’ve been like that all day.”

“It’s okay.” I replied, showing a kind grin. “They’re excited!” Clapping my hands together, I watched Tiffany’s lips form a smile.

“I bet not as excited as you!” Her hands found her hips. “Is there anything that needs done?”

“Here we go.” Daniel muttered next to me and I nudged him with my elbow, quickly flickering a glare at him. He proceeded with a loud cackle, making me crack a grin as well. I was always smiling when I looked at him.

“No, I don’t think so.” Her and her husband were both in the wedding party so they had the undoubted pleasure of dealing with me and the planning process. “It’s just going to happen now.”

Tiffany nodded. “Okay, well if you think of anything just call me. We’re family now.”

“I will,” I said blushing, “thanks.” She nodded once again and turned to walk to her family, but not before sharing a glance with Daniel. I twisted around in his arms, placing a quick peck to his cheek. “We should probably mingle with my grandparents.”

His smile faded into a playful roll of his eyes. “Do we have to?”

“If we don’t, my dad will probably end up dragging us over there anyway.” I took a step back and slid my hand in his as I started to pull him with me.

“Y/N,” he whined, “I don’t want too.”

“Oh quit pouting.” My feet stopped suddenly, forcing Daniel to walk into me. “I won’t let you walk in the wedding tomorrow either.” I smirked, pressing myself up against him, sliding my arms around his neck. His hands rested comfortably upon my waist

He pretended to pout, a line forming between his forehead. “Oh no!” He toyed with a whiny voice as his bottom lip protruded. I found it hard to keep a serious face and broke into a slight laughter. Daniel joined, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

“I hate you sometimes.” I whispered, biting my lip.

“I know you do.” Daniel hushed, leaning in to kiss me. It was quick, seeing that our entire family was surrounding and there was no room for intimacy, especially on the way to see grandma and grandpa. It was a good thing we stopped too.

“Y/N.” My dad’s voice chimed between us, pulling us apart. Even though we were getting married tomorrow, Daniel still felt like my dad didn’t like him, and for as many times as I would try to reassure him, he wasn’t fully convinced. “Sorry to break up this schmooze fest,” he said flatly, “but I need to talk to you for a second.”

Daniel’s hands were removed from my body and behind I heard him say “I’m gonna go see my mom really quick.” He pecked my temple and was off just as fast as the words came out of his mouth.

“What’s wrong dad?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowed in worry and confusion.

“Someone’s here.” He replied in a hushed tone and I noticed him leaning in as if it was a huge secret. He didn’t seem amused either.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you mean someone is here? The waiter with the check?” My mind was wondering through a forest of worrisome thoughts.

He grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me away from the party in a matter of seconds. “No it isn’t the waiter.” His eyes searched about the room making sure that no one was watching. I tightened my arms across my chest, hugging myself. “I told him to wait outside.”

“Him?” My voice rose. “Who are you talking about? Who is here?!” I was becoming more and more frantic. My heart beat was becoming erratic. “Dad!” I demanded.

He glanced towards the entrance of the restaurant where the host was standing at the podium. Impatient, my eyes followed in the direction his were and what they saw made my heart beat stop entirely and my breath catch in my throat.

The stance, the way the shirts always fit those shoulders, spreading right at the seam. The face, the hair, the eyes…it was like I had just been shot with an arrow full of a memory. It had hit me right in my forehead, making not only the memory, but the feelings come back as well. All of it hit me so hard at once. My hand reached up to my neck and I latched onto it, feeling myself swallow as hard as I could.

“I can tell him to go.” Dad’s voice soothed me, but I had still looked like I saw a ghost. Maybe I did. Maybe it wasn’t really him.

I shook my head, thinking I was speaking, but I wasn’t. My lips were together almost like they were glued and I pushed past my dad, padding straight towards him. I couldn’t dare say his name, I was too scared of the things I would remember.

“What are you doing here?” Much to my surprise, I was able to find the words in the jumbled mess that was my head and my heart. When our eyes locked, my fear of memories came to life and I immediately remembered the last time I saw him. The last time I had spoken to him. The day he left for that stupid show. The day his life changed forever. Little did he know that my life changed as well, but not for the better.

“Y/N.” He was surprised to see me, eyes going wide as my name left his mouth. “I heard you were…” His voice quickly trailed off to nothing, getting lost in the noise of the restaurant.

I held out my hand as if to stop him. “You didn’t answer my question.” I focused my gaze on my hand, but caught sight of his shirt instead. From there, they found his chest, the skin of his collarbone poking through the collar of his shirt. I swallowed hard again. I felt woozy, like I had an entire bottle of wine to myself.

“My mom told me.” He broke the silence with a soft-toned voice. “I-I had to see you.”

“So you decide that after five years of not speaking, at all, that you can come see me?” As the words came out, my eyes locked with his harshly, narrowing at him. “To my rehearsal dinner?!” I tried not to get too loud and draw too much attention. I couldn’t risk Daniel seeing him. That would make everything worse. “There are so many things wrong with this Harry.” I waved my hand in sync with my words. At one point I was even doing a shooing motion, hoping that he would understand what I wanted him to do. Leave.

“We should talk Y/N.” Harry muttered through his teeth.

I shook my head rapidly. “No, we shouldn’t. You should just leave.” Surprisingly, I didn’t feel mad at him, rather I felt guilty. I was letting my pride get the best of me.

But if I didn’t, who knows what would happen.

Harry sighed unhappily. “Do you really want me to leave?”

No. “Yes.” I cleared my throat. “I do.”

Harry stood silent, folding his lips into his mouth and cracking his knuckles at his sides. He sighed and I noticed him backing away from me. “I never meant to upset you.” Of course he could tell how I was feeling; he always could.

I shuttered as I watched him leave the restaurant, but once he was gone, I felt a weight of relief on my chest, my heart especially. Regardless of this happy time, seeing Harry had made me think about so many more things. Those many things I had suppressed over the past five years because they reminded me of Harry.

I swiftly walked to the back room where our - mine and Daniel’s - rehearsal dinner was. My eyes flickered to my dad’s and then to Daniel’s. Deep down, I had to be strong for them.

I knew something was going to happen, something to ruin a clean slate. Someone to ruin my happiness.

The worst part was, that “someone” was the person I thought I would be meeting at the end of the aisle.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s wrong?” Harry wondered sadly.   
> “I-I” I began slowly, “this is wrong.” I shook my head vigorously, wiping my lips and backing away from Harry even more. “I can’t do this.” I whispered to myself. I looked at my car, it was sitting there, taunting me. But so was Harry. And so was my heart.   
> “Why not?” Harry asked, walking to me with ease. “Y/N I love you.” Those words. Those sacred words. He had spoken them and I wasn’t ready for it.   
> I sweat my heart stopped beating. I swear the entire world stopped turning. I swear that I loved Harry, too.

I had tried to get back to normal, but I kept picturing Harry’s face. I remembered the face he made when he first left me, and then this time. There was a sense of deprivation within each of those moments.   
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kara, my maid of honor, asked me. I nodded in response, keeping my head low and my gaze at the ground. The wedding party was just about gone from the restaurant. I was waiting outside for Daniel so we could bid our final goodbyes for the night. Because the bride and groom aren’t supposed to spend the night before the wedding together, I was staying with my dad and he was sleeping at his sister’s. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”   
“I feel fine.” I told her sternly, glaring intensely at her. Sighing, I realized how rude it sounded and I shook my head, reaching my hand out to rub her arm. “I’m sorry. I’m just nervous for tomorrow.” I lied for the third time.   
Dad asked me the same question, as did Daniel. My response each time was that the nerves were getting to me. In a way, it was true. Seeing Harry had brought back feelings I didn’t know I had suppressed over the years, and knowing in the back of my mind that he was back home made me wonder if I was making the right decision.   
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Harry was back. Did he come back just for me? Or was he visiting his family for the weekend and just so happened to hear that I was getting married? Why would he come back now?   
As I was trudging in my thoughts, I saw Daniel exit the restaurant and as soon as his eyes laid on me, his lips spread into a wide, elated smile. It made me feel safe and warm.   
“It’s okay.” Kara grinned in a flat line. “Tomorrow’s a big day.” Her eyes turned sympathetic as her boyfriend pulled up in their car. Before getting in, she pulled me into a tight hug. “Everything will be fine.” She said softly into my shoulder as my arms reciprocated. “Tomorrow will be great.”   
I sighed as our hug broke. “I hope so.” She nodded and shot me a smile – a real one this time – as she got into the car. The vehicle quickly sped away, out of site.   
While I watched it disappear, Daniel’s arm pulled me close to him. “I don’t want to leave you.” I snuggled closer to him, placing my arms around him and my head on his chest. “It’s the first night we’ve spent apart since we got engaged.” His voice whispered in my ear and made me shiver, dancing around me pleasantly.   
“I know.” I pouted, craning my head back to rest my chin on his chest, looking up at him through my eyelashes. “But it’s only one night and then we get to go on our honeymoon.” The hours couldn’t have been going slow enough.   
Daniel rubbed my back, gazing down at me. “Ah, the honeymoon.” He smirked, his eyes deepening a shade. “Now you’re talking.” I laughed at his cheekiness, reaching up on my tiptoes to kiss him, hearing him groan playfully. “Ugh, Y/N,” He said against my lips, “I don’t know if I can make it.”   
Abruptly, I broke away from him, watching his eyebrows stitch together. “Sorry babe, you don’t have a choice.”   
“At least let me have one more kiss then.” His bottom lip protruded and his hands reached out to grab me. I let him pull me close, allowing for his lips to cradle mine into a soft movement. I always loved when he did this – the caress of his hands on my body combined with the endearment of his lips – I could almost get lost in him. But when I closed my eyes, it wasn’t Daniel’s face I was picturing.   
Harry’s emerald eyes stared at me and I jumped a full foot away from him. I touched the tips of my fingers to my lips, daring to glance at my fiancé, whose face was crowded with shock.   
“What was that about?” He asked, taking a step to me. I backed away simultaneously, my eyes flickering up to him and then down at the ground. I began shaking my head, unknowingly answering him. “Y/N what’s wrong?” He questioned, his words were becoming more meaningful and worrisome. I hadn’t paid attention and let his hand touch my arm.   
“I-“ I began to say but my voice broke off at the sight of Tiffany walking out of the restaurant to my rescue.   
“Are you ready, Danny?” He peeked over his shoulder at her and nodded, his gaze swiftly turning back to me. I had crossed my arms over my chest in the second that he wasn’t looking at me. “I’m going to the car so I’ll meet you there!” She called, holding a tired Mallory in her arms. “Y/N I’ll be at your house about 8 to start getting ready!” I shot her an unnoticeable smile. Thankfully she was too worried about getting to the car to notice the awkwardness that had just risen between Daniel and I.   
He stepped forward and planted a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”   
“Yeah,” I replied quietly, folding my lips inside my mouth uncomfortably, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”   
“I love you.” He added for a final touch, giving a squeeze to my arm and then backing away.   
I swallowed hard. “I love you, too.” The smile I gave him afterward was so fake my heart was aching. I watched him walk away and pictured Harry walking out of the restaurant. The pain I was feeling in my chest was unimaginable. Suddenly, I felt like everything was a lie. If I could just forget about Harry, then this feeling would be gone. I would get excited about my wedding tomorrow. I would be able to put it all behind me and finally start new with the man I love.   
Standing outside of the restaurant wasn’t doing me any good. I strolled to my car after Daniel and his sister drove away. My head was pounding and I couldn’t tell if it was because I was overthinking, or because I had a headache. Either way, I squinted when I looked at my phone, the light making the pain worse.   
It was a text from my dad. Do you have your key? Of course I still had my key. Sometimes I felt like coming back home to spend a night with my dad in that big house of his. I didn’t want him to feel lonely in it.   
Yeah I do. I replied; he was probably going to bed. I’ll see you in a little bit. I plopped my phone into the cup holder and started the engine, sitting in the running car for minutes before I actually began to drive off. I took a final glance at the restaurant – the place where Harry stepped into my life once again – and sighed heavily.   
I forced myself to think about tomorrow. I would marry Daniel. I would be happy with him. We would start a family. But every time I pictured the church, the wedding, the reception, my life…I kept seeing Harry’s face instead of my real fiancé’s.   
When we were younger, fresh out of grade school, Harry and I walked through the park on our way home. His mom and my mom worked together in the same building and became friends that year, forcing the two of us to get to know one another and become unlikely friends. On that walk – it was summer and hot and raining, but we went to the park anyway – Harry asked me about the future, what we wanted to do with our lives.   
“I don’t want to stay here,” we were sitting on the swings with our young hearts, our sopping hair covering our foreheads; our mothers were going to be so mad when they saw us. Harry noticed my furrowed eyebrows. “It would be fun to see the world,” he shrugged.   
“So travel?” I confirmed and he nodded. We had no idea what we were talking about; we were clueless to how the world works. So naïve.   
Harry nodded and kicked at the ground, causing his swing to move just the slightest. “We could go to China.” He said, lips twirling into a smirk.   
I tilted my head, trying not to smile at him. It was hard not to though. “China?”  
“Yeah,” he stated. “Other places too, but we can start there.”   
“So I can go with you?”   
Harry cackled just as the rain stopped. “Duh! Who else am I gonna go with?”  
It was decided there in the rain that day, without the exact words even having to be said, that there was more to us then just our moms being friends and the forced relationship that we had originally imagined. Harry was my first crush; my first love.   
Driving now, I realized I had missed the turn that would lead me closer to my family home. I knew there was another turn I could make that was coming up, but when it did, I missed it intentionally.   
I kept driving until I remembered the place I was at. The park. The rain. The swings. Harry. I parked and got out. Each one of my movements was unconscious. Like I was sleep walking. My feet carried me to the same swings and I remembered the exact moment Harry looked into my eyes different then he ever had before.   
They changed the swings. They weren’t red and blue anymore, nor hard. Now, they were black and felt rubberier then anything and when I sat down on it they were so low I thought I was going to hit the ground. My feet pounced against the ground and I started to swing back and forth. A soft breeze blew through my hair, causing the tip of my nose to grow cold suddenly.   
“I had a feeling you would come here.” My feet stomped to the ground and I shot up, the swing made a flopping noise as it hit the back of my leg. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” I whipped around and my eyes widened at Harry, standing on the opposite side of the swing. He was wearing the same clothes as the restaurant with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. If possible, he seemed more attractive with the moonlight accentuating the contours of his face.   
“Wha-what are you doing?” I stuttered, crossing my arms over my chest. “Are you following me?” I knew the questions were the same from earlier, but now I was really wondering if that was the case. He wasn’t making everything worse, this entire day especially.   
“No!” Harry quickly replied in a pleading tone. “I promise I’m not following you Y/N.” He took a step closer, wary and slow, just like my gaze trailing across his face. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He repeated.   
“Then what are you doing here?” My mind: if you’re rude he’ll go away and everything will go back to normal. My heart: it can’t go back to normal now.   
He shrugged, “I was going for a walk and just,” he sighed heavily as his eyes gazed at me through the minimal light, “ended up here I guess.”   
We grew silent just staring at one another. I felt like there was so much I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t find the words, or even where to start. Between us, a tension grew that I couldn’t deny, and the look on Harry’s face told me that he couldn’t either.   
I licked my lips and twisted my back to him, sitting back down on my swing, keeping my feet on the ground as I moved back and forth. Behind me, I heard Harry’s footsteps and watched carefully as he moved swiftly to the swing next to me. It was just like before, except everything was different now.   
After that rainy day in the park, the swings became our place. We came here so many times that it was hard to differentiate the days and hours spent here. There were so many that they all mushed together. Even so, the first day always stood out the most to me and I always remembered it.   
“I haven’t been here in years.” Harry’s voice chimed through the darkness, mixing with the small squeak of the swings moving back and forth. It wasn’t a pleasant sound, but when Harry started, the unpleasantness drowned away. “They changed the swings.”  
My lips broke into a sly grin unintentionally. “I noticed that too.” My hands gripped the chains and I swallowed hard. “I haven’t been here since you left.” I whispered, my eyes flickering to him, then down at my feet.   
“That long, huh?” He asked as if he was shocked and I could tell the smile upon his lips in the way his words lifted up at the end. “What has it been? Five years?”   
“Almost six.” I corrected him, my gaze darting to his and actually staying there. His lips moved in a silent wow. I felt a heat rise to my cheeks. “You could have come back.” I blurted.  
“What do you mean?”   
I glared at him. “You know exactly what I mean.” My teeth dragged along my bottom lip. “You left and you didn’t say goodbye.” The words I felt like saying earlier were finally coming out. “Years, Harry, it’s been years since we’ve spoken and you just show up now?” They were kind of fumbled, but that’s how it was going in my mind. “Why now, of all times, why?” I was like a broken record as I finished, a voice in my head trailing why…why…why…why...  
Harry shook his head and broke my stare, looking at the ground and furrowing his eyebrows. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.   
I sucked in another breath. “Did you know,” a chuckled erupted from my throat that I couldn’t hold back; it was a devilish sound, “that for a month I didn’t leave my house because I was so worried that you were going to call or email – anything.” I didn’t know why I laughed, it was a hopeless sound, just how I felt.   
“I’m sorry.” He croaked. As he spoke, I stood from the swing and began to pace. “I probably can’t apologize enough.”   
“You’re right. You can’t.” I spat, stopping in front of him. “You can’t apologize enough for forgetting about me. For leaving me.” I took a shaky breath. “Harry you missed my mom’s funeral.” My lips began to tremble. I couldn’t hold back the tears now. I sniffled, trying to keep my nose from running just as tears tickled my cheeks. “Harry…” I whimpered sadly, “you didn’t even call when she died.” I could barely see him through the blurriness of tears in my eyes, but I was still staring in his direction. I turned my back to him, placing my hand over my mouth and closing my eyes as I cried, trying to wipe away each tear as they fell.   
Harry stood from the swing quickly, causing it to creak loudly. He swiftly padded to me, placing his hand on my shoulder and turning me around. His hand knocked mine off my lips as he fixed his finger and thumb on my chin. For the smallest second, his eyes locked with mine, right before he craned his neck down and crashed his lips to mine. My face squished in confusion, yet I didn’t pull away.   
A long time ago I had only dreamed about kissing him. Now that I was, it was everything I could ever want and more. My hands slid up his arms, his shoulders and over his collarbone to stop and slide my arms around his neck, pulling our bodies close together.   
Our lips curved together in a passionate manor that made my skin crawl. Harry’s arms encompassed me, wrapping around me so tight that I almost couldn’t breath. It was an awfully good feeling.   
My feet pressed against the ground as I felt Harry lean over me, arching my back into him and his hands fitting perfectly into the crook. The built up tension, the feeling of his lips, all of it was so fitting.   
These were the feelings I had been holding onto. These were the moments I had dreamed of having with him. Just the two of us. Our hands. Our lips. I wasn’t used to the reality of there being an “us”, but now the future seemed bright with the possibility. I had waited impatient years for this to happen and I never thought it actually would. I could feel my heart beat speed up impossibly fast, almost as if it was going to protrude out of my chest.   
Forever could be a possibility with – Daniel.  
My lips stopped moving and I pushed Harry off of me. Even though that was now the last thing I wanted to do, I had now remembered the reason we were in the place we were.   
The voice in my head kept repeating: You’re getting married tomorrow. You’re getting married tomorrow. You’re getting married tomorrow.   
Although those words were true, there was even more doubt in my mind. More then just cold feet a normal person gets the day before their wedding. I hated the feeling. I hated every second of it.   
“What’s wrong?” Harry wondered sadly.   
“I-I” I began slowly, “this is wrong.” I shook my head vigorously, wiping my lips and backing away from Harry even more. “I can’t do this.” I whispered to myself. I looked at my car, it was sitting there, taunting me. But so was Harry. And so was my heart.   
“Why not?” Harry asked, walking to me with ease. “Y/N I love you.” Those words. Those sacred words. He had spoken them and I wasn’t ready for it.   
I sweat my heart stopped beating. I swear the entire world stopped turning. I swear that I loved Harry, too.   
“No, no, no, no.” I muttered frantically taking step after step in the direction of my car. Harry was following me I knew it. “Don’t do that Harry.” I stopped, twisting around and glaring at him. I held out my hand in front of me in a “stop don’t go any further” fashion. “This can’t happen. We can’t do this. Maybe in a different time – if things were different – we could, maybe.” I was breathing heavily. “I’m getting married tomorrow. You can’t be here!” I turned back around and ran to my car.   
Behind me, Harry was calling my name; he was telling me to stay with him. I tried my best to ignore him, but even when he was out of sight, his voice still toyed with me and the voice in my head – or maybe it was my heart – was urging me to turn the car around and go back to him. I didn’t.   
I kept driving.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dad…” I stared down at my hands, but I don’t think my voice was high enough for him to hear me. 
> 
> “Y/N,” his voice was so concerned. Just like any father would be about their daughter on their wedding day. “As your father, my only hope is for you to be happy. That’s all I want for you.” He sighed and reached his hand over mine. “Your happiness is what matters.” He repeated, leaning forward and placing another kiss to my forehead. I closed my eyes, letting his words soak in as long as they could. 
> 
> I looked at the letter that was now a bit crinkled because of my grip. My mouth was going dry at the thought of what is written inside. I didn’t know what to expect, or if I should even be expecting anything at all. Maybe it was a letter saying how last night was a mistake, and that this feeling in my stomach was all made up.

Most of the night I spent awake in what use to be my childhood bedroom. When I went off to college, my parents changed it into a guestroom/office for their needs. Any time I came back, even to only check on Dad, it didn’t exactly feel like home, or the same place I grew up in. My posters on the walls were gone, the bedding I cried into when Harry left, gone. Maybe I had it all in my head, this feeling of home. But because Harry had been gone for so long – at the time I still thought of him every day – that feeling felt diminished. I didn’t know it then, but he always felt like home in the most comfortable way.   
Last night – the kiss – was the reason for my stirring. I couldn’t get Harry out of my mind. When I would sleep, closing my eyes for the shortest of moments, his face was the only one I saw. He was taking over me like a virus that I had already been diagnosed with. What I felt even worse about, was the smile on my face after I realized that he was yet again on my mind; when I remembered the way his lips felt against mine. I kept imagining the connection over and over again until it became a permanent stitch that I knew would never leave me. I would never let it leave either.   
By the time the sun began to rise, I was wide awake and downstairs with a pot of coffee. As if I needed any. I felt so awake, so alive. My eyes kept darting toward the entry way, hoping that Harry would come by and interrupt my bagel. He didn’t.   
Instead, when the clock struck 8 a.m. the woman doing hair and makeup for my bridal party showed up at my door. I was disappointed to see her. And then disappointed with myself for feeling that way. Tiffany and her girls, as well as the rest of the party arrived shortly after. Dad had popped his head into my room – where everything was set up so the downstairs wouldn’t be a mess – to say goodbye. He was off to join the rest of the guys and I could see the sadness in his eyes. He wished mom was here and so did I.   
“I’ll see you in a bit.” He leaned down and pecked my forehead as I got my hair done. I nodded and shot him a flat grin, watching him leave.   
I should be excited. I should have a smile on my face with the invigorating thought of getting married, but the more I think about it, the deeper the pit in my stomach becomes.   
“Y/N, I mean Aunt Y/N.” Hillary quickly corrects herself and it makes me crake a small, but true, smile. “I get to call you that right?”  
“Of course you can.” I beamed as bright as I could convince her.   
Hillary sighed happily, “oh good,” before trudging over to Mallory. “See I told you!” The two of them started bickering and I tuned them out.   
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Kara and Tiffany staring at me. “What?” I demanded their attention.   
“Nothing!” They replied in unison as I continued to glare. “We were just talking about your dress,” Kara offered. “We can’t wait to see you all done up!”  
I looked away. The stylist worked thoroughly through the wedding party. Tiffany recommended her after she was in a wedding and the bride had her doing everyone’s hair and makeup and said that she was the best. I was seeing now the truth in the statement.   
When we got to the church with two hours left, I was amazed by the amount of cars already in the parking lot. And for the first time that day, my mind wondered to Daniel. I had not yet picture what he was doing, how he was feeling, what was running through his head.   
Was he thinking about me? Was he anticipating the moment our eyes would meet as I walked down the aisle?  
I was beginning to feel even more uneasy now that I was in the church, the place I would be getting married. The room we were in wasn’t that big, but there was enough space for each of us to spread out. I stood in front of the mirror, running my hands over the beading of my dress around my waist. It felt so delicate under my fingertips, so fragile. Tiffany occupied the twins by telling them to make sure each flower was secure on each of the bridesmaid’s bouquets. Kara was sticking extra bobby pins in her hair. On the way over, she was whining that she was sure her hair would fall it. There was so much hairspray that her hair probably wouldn’t move all day and all night. The other members of my bridal party were talking amongst themselves.   
I stared at my reflection in the mirror as my fingers continuously toyed with the beads. Was I really about to get married? With the minutes ticking away as if they were never there at all, I still wanted to see Harry at the door. I wanted him to tell me not to do it. I wanted him to kiss me again and never let me go.   
“Y/N?” Dad walked into the room and my eyes immediately darted over to him. A wide smile spread across his face and even from feet away, I could see the tears building in his eyes. “You look-” he paused, taking a deep breath and walking closer to me “-you look just like your mother on our wedding day.” Now the tears were in my eyes and I laughed to try not to cry.   
“Oh Dad,” I awkwardly laughed, grabbing his hands and holding them so tight.   
“You look so beautiful, honey.” He said softly, smiling down at me like the way he used to look at my mom, with so much love in his eyes he could explode at any second. All of a sudden, something clicked and I recognized that look. I couldn’t believe I didn’t realize it then. Harry was giving me the same look, those same eyes, the same feeling in my chest that my mother always talked about. They stared at me in the restaurant and at the park, they made their imprint on me. It was Harry. It’s always been Harry.   
“Can we have a second?” I made eye contact with everyone in the room and they got the message, swiftly leaving Dad and I in the room.   
He looked at the door, making sure it was closed and then back to me. “I’m glad you did that,” he said, making me confused, “I actually have something for you.” Dad glanced at the door one more time before walking me over to the loveseat set up against the wall. This was where the twins were checking the bouquets. I furrowed my eyebrows at him as he dug in the inside of his jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.   
“What is it?” He handed me the paper. My hands were shaking as I waited for him to answer me. I didn’t want to open in before knowing what it was.   
Dad sighed. “This morning when I was leaving, I saw-“ he paused warily and when his eyes met mine I knew what he was going to say “-Harry was there.”  
“He what?” I stared at him in shock. My heartbeat picked up speed. I clutched the letter and could feel my palms getting sweaty. “What did he say?”  
Dad shook his head. “He handed me that and told me to give it to you,” He chuckled to himself. “He probably knew I wasn’t going to let him in the house to see you. I didn’t read it.” His eyes flickered to the letter. “I don’t know what it says and I don’t know if I want to.”  
“Dad…” I stared down at my hands, but I don’t think my voice was high enough for him to hear me.   
“Y/N,” his voice was so concerned. Just like any father would be about their daughter on their wedding day. “As your father, my only hope is for you to be happy. That’s all I want for you.” He sighed and reached his hand over mine. “Your happiness is what matters.” He repeated, leaning forward and placing another kiss to my forehead. I closed my eyes, letting his words soak in as long as they could.   
I looked at the letter that was now a bit crinkled because of my grip. My mouth was going dry at the thought of what is written inside. I didn’t know what to expect, or if I should even be expecting anything at all. Maybe it was a letter saying how last night was a mistake, and that this feeling in my stomach was all made up.   
Dad started getting up, but my hand grabbed his arm, pulling him back to the seat. “Will you stay while I read it?” He nodded as we grew silent and my shaking fingers unfolded the piece of paper with Harry’s neat scribble all over it.   
Dear Y/N,   
I would apologize for last night if I was sorry for it, but I’m not. I’m not sorry for seeing you, or for kissing you. And I’m not sorry for loving you.   
I am sorry for leaving you like I did. I’m sorry for missing your mom’s funeral and for everything else that fell in between. You don’t know how much it hurt to leave you like that. I couldn’t call because I knew the second that I heard your voice I would give it all up. I’d still give it all up for you. The life I’ve made isn’t what I thought it would be. Especially without you. Over the years I’ve grown so tired of loving you entire continents away, only knowing that you were engaged and planning a wedding all without me.   
I want to be happy for you and Daniel. I tried with everything I have, all of the might in my body. I’m trying right now. But I can’t be happy for you Y/N, not when I love you and I know that you very well love me too. If it scares you knowing that, believe me, it scares the hell out of me too. But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years without you, it’s that I don’t want anymore. I don’t want to wake up alone, without you any longer. I needed to come back and tell you this. I came back with the slightest hope that seeing you wouldn’t make me completely in love with you, but I was already doomed. Five-almost six years as you pointed out-is too much time and a lifetime away from you is even worse.   
Don’t marry Daniel. Meet me by the swings Y/N. If you love me like I love you, meet me there and we can be happy together. I promise you that we’ll be happy.   
If you don’t come, I’ll know that I tried my best and that you truly love Daniel. Either way, I’ll always love you Y/N. Always.   
I love you.   
Harry   
“Well?” Dad asked minutes later. I kept my gaze down at the letter, still taken aback by what it said.  
I knew the answer to Harry’s proposal. I knew it as soon as I laid my eyes on Harry, I guess I was just waiting for him to actually make the move. Now that he took that move, it became clear to me that I didn’t want to get married today. Here I was, sitting in my wedding dress in the church that I’m supposed to be getting married in, reading a letter from the love of my life telling me not to do it. Regardless, there was a greater reason that Harry came back, and this was it. It’s always been him.  
“Dad…” I peeked up at him, wondering if he had been looking at me the entire time I was reading. He raised his eyebrows. Tears brimmed my eyes. “I can’t get married today.” My voice was shaky, matching the tremble in my lip. “I can’t get married to Daniel.” I shook my head crying and he pulled me into his chest.   
I hugged him and cried into his jacket. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He cooed just as he did when I was little. He didn’t hug me like this when Harry left, my mom did. I pulled away from him and placed my hand over his. “You have to be happy, Y/N.” He spoke directly at my heart and it heard every word. His lips spread into a flat grin, but I could tell how gentle it was in his eyes.   
I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I love you Dad.”   
“I love you too, sweetheart.” When I pulled back, he moved his hands on my shoulders to keep me still. “Your mother would be so proud of you.” I shook my head and stood from the loveseat, my feet quickly padding toward the door.   
“Oh,” I spun around, “can I borrow your car?” He dug in his pocket and tossed me the keys to his car. Letter in one hand, keys in the other I did my best to sneak out without being seen. In the hall, there was no sign of the bridal part, or anyone for that matter and I made a run for the back exit of the church.   
People would wonder what happened. People would wonder why I didn’t meet Daniel at the end of the aisle.   
Daniel.   
He would be so heart broken, but if I would let Harry leave then I would have been the heart broken one.   
The ride to the park was fast. I didn’t bother with the radio; at the speed I was going I would only get through the first verse of a song. When I finally did pull into the park, it was empty. I missed him. He waited for me, but I wasn’t quick enough.   
I got out of my dad’s car and slowly roamed to the swings. A few families were at the main playground and at the sight of a wedding dress they were all turning their heads.   
With a huff, I sat down on the same swing I did last night. I closed my eyes and reimagined the play of the night before. Harry’s lips on mine, the world stopping around us. If that’s the last memory I’ll get of him, then it’ll have to do.   
“You came.” Just like the night before, Harry startled me and I shot up from the swing, spinning around in my dress – as heavy as it was-to face him. “I really didn’t know if you would.”   
“After that kiss-“ I cleared my throat and tried to wipe the smile that was growing off my face “-I mean after last night? How could I not.” I was the one walking to him, through the swings. I watched as his eyes grazed my body, staring me up and down.   
“You look so beautiful.” He told me once I got close to him. “So, so beautiful.” The corner of his lip lifted into a smile and he reached his hand out to touch my cheek. “I assume you got my letter.” I nodded. “I thought your Dad was going to punch me.” Harry cackled, making me laugh.   
“He wouldn’t of.” I placed my hand over his on my cheek, sliding my grip to his wrist. I stared up at him quietly, my breathing becoming heavy as I became more nervous. “I read the letter.” It was folding in my hand, probably becoming damp with sweat. I took a deep breath.   
“You came,” Harry repeated under his breath and his other hand grasped my cheek. “That’s all I wanted, Y/N.” His forehead touched mine and I closed my eyes to enjoy the moment. I felt Harry nudge my nose with his and I wanted to enjoy it even further. I lifted my chin so that our lips could touch. This took Harry by pleasant surprise and he smiled into the kiss. With his hands secure on my face, I leaned into him. This kiss was different then last night’s. Where I had tears running down my cheeks, was a blush so red it looked like sunburn. There was the exciting future that was fresh on our minds that made it all the more endearing.   
“I choose you Harry,” I confided. “I choose us, whatever it may be.”   
A proud grin snaked its way to Harry’s lips and his eyes glimmered. “I love you so much.” He pulled my lips to his once more in a feverish delight that only lasted a quick moment. “I do have something for you though.” He noted, removing his hands form me and reaching to his back pocket. He revealed an envelope and pulled out it’s contents.   
“What is it?” I wondered eagerly, trying to peek.   
“Plane tickets.” Harry replied smugly, one of his dimples was showing.   
My eyebrows stitched together. “Plane tickets? To where?” When he pulled them out, I finally saw and felt the same rush of emotions – joy, love, nervousness. “China?” I took one from his hand to get a better look at it.   
“We can start there,” Harry’s eyes never left me. I felt them burning my cheeks, “and then we can go wherever you want.”   
He remembered the first day on the swings, the day in the rain. “You-“ I gazed at him in awe “-you actually remembered that?” I was shaking my head trying to get the shock out of it. He was even more amazing then I thought. And I was more in love with him now then I had ever been. Nobody ever stood a chance against him.   
“Of course I remember.” He took my hand in his comfortably and giggled. “It’s the day I fell in love.”


End file.
